Monthly Archives: December 2012

Guy: “If you ever turn straight, let me know”

My lady and I made an appearance at a co-worker’s party a couple of weeks ago.  After a few Legend Brown Ale’s (out of a keg, Solo cup style), this dreaded phrase was said.

“Ladies, you ARE the most beautiful lesbians ever.  My god. You know, if you ever turn straight, let me know”

Ah, if I had a dollar for every time I heard this type of statement (sometimes a question, i.e. “Are you SURE you’re a lesbian?  Certain?”) I would’ve been able to purchase the Lesbaru I longed for instead of the mediocre Hyundai.

This time was a little different because the guy was saying this to me and my girlfriend.  I had yet to experience this ridiculousness with her by my side … until now.  I didn’t know whether to burst into laughter or explode with a slew of sharp-tongued, complex words he’d ever understand (or remember).

Instead, I collected myself, smiled, and assured him I’d never become straight (and the same went for my lady). I also shouted “vote for equality” as we left the party and laughed about it the whole way home.

If we didn’t laugh, we’d just become bitter.  A part of me is silently bitter though.

Just because I look “normal” girls do, doesn’t earn entitlement for “bros” to boldly declare these moronic remarks.  I pride myself on being fairly selective in regards to making friends and picking places to hang out, so I haven’t faced this type of situation in a while.

I don’t anticipate a future where femme, pretty, or any lesbians [for that matter] to go a year without one of these awkward, annoying, and brainless comments.

I guess I’ve just embraced it.

I’ll call it “character building”.

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