It’s been four years and still I remember the cold sweats caused by fear/freaking out/anxiety/shame/fillintheblank when I told my parents I left a letter for them to read after staying at their house one weekend. The note was my un-confrontational attempt to come out.
I wasn’t worried about my dad – I think he silently knew all along (he jokingly swears he thought he’d pass a “gay gene” to my brother and I), it was my mom’s reaction that petrified me. The fear that consumed me stemmed from her anticipated rejection, which served true. I remember feeling 100% prepared when she paused communication with me after reading the letter. Although she had plenty of signs, I’m sure it was a devastating pill to swallow. Most momma’s (especially the church-grown-christian kind like mine) wants their kid to be “normal” and for their little girls to blossom into soft and patient women that marry well and manage a home, children, and a anything else that might come her way. Unfortunately, my mom can’t see that I’m no different – except the traditional marriage part (and maybe I’m a little strong willed, too).
Cutting to my point, I came across a local campaign called Dollars for Daughters that brought emotions of maternal rejection back to me. This cause was started by Abby and her wife Jesse when Abby’s mother updated her profile picture to read “I support the Biblical Definition of Marriage” when her daughter (and millions of other folks around the world) changed profile pictures to the red HRC logo in support of gay marriage.
If there’s something that’s jerked my heart recently (besides recent episodes of The Little Couple) it’s this. Whether you’re a mom, daughter, son, uncle, brother, etc. the support of your LGBTQ loved one, family member, or friend is the best thing. Ever. The pain of intentional anger, embarrassment, and disapproval is devastating, especially from your own parent.
Jess and Abby’s campaign, Dollars for Daughters accept donations (even little as $10) to support LGBTQ efforts in the community. If its the good karmic payback, the fact you can donate as much as two Starbucks lattes will cost you, or that you just want to support something good, do it or read about it here.